Love Story

I long for intimacy with a woman.
It seems like ever since I made the choice to not kiss till I get married, its enhanced and de-hanced.
I know that sounds crazy and don't make sense but allow me to explain.
I haven't been on a date in foreverrrrrrrr or even hung out with a girl with intentions of date and that feels great but I still have this longing for touch, to talk, and share.
But this is were the tables turn and I see a whole new side of God.
I've never told God that even though I'm a virgin, I long for the touch of my wife even though I don't even know if I'll see tomorrow...
I think about these things.
I just felt its best to just be open and tell God how you feel and allow the healing.

I've decided to be so open with God, and allowing Him to be my intimate wife as He romances me with scripture.
For any readers, which isn't many who may be opposed to my openness, I write these things because I feel God wants me to share it, that its a easy way to write how I feel and get it out, I keep what I need to be personal personal, and what needs to be shared needs to be shared.
So as I share..
I challenge( which I think is a dumb word) wait.. I want you to reshape and rethink
the love you want to find one day.
The what you look for, the what he or she looks like, and to see how much in compatible they are with Christ
in simpler terms
How much your person looks like Christ.
If Christ is our true love and our boyfriend and girlfriend don't model that then how can love ever be intimate? or whole?

I feel this raging drive to be closer to God.
I feel like the time I'm spending now isn't enough, there needs to be an hour of prayer behind a closed door of me crying out and enjoying it.

eff I just spilled coffee on my bed and my love handle ha
caution: wear a shirt when you drink coffee, it might burn your love handle, if you have some.

anyways.
I think You God for my ups and downs with You, for letting me come back time and time again, for letting my mind think to deep and be doubtful, because I know you love what comes after that. Forgive me of the times I want to give up on you. I just stress myself out sometimes, I pray You always bring relief. Bring me peace. I love You. Meet me here and now. In Jesus name and by the power of the Holy Spirit.