Its me..

Well I was going to write this blog about How beautiful the weather is, how I have these ducks hat I feed that love fruit loops, How much I love God, and how thankful I am
but....
I think I'll save these to myself.
One of those days where I dont need to share it with anyone, but rather enjoy it and know its good.

If I can be lonely here, I can be lonely anywhere

I was gifted with the incredible gift to love anyone
I am not prideful in this but I am so glad to have this ability
one thing I was not gifted with was being loved
I can not be loved
I feel not capable

I loved someone once..

I don't understand how to be loved

I once was told I can love a stranger but I cant love my family
I think about that everyday

If I can be lonely here, I can be lonely anywhere

It comes in waves

It comes in waves...

I love playing music.
I've been playing guitar and singing since I was 12.
I love sitting down and playing some chords, humming a tune, playing for you
but sometimes it stresses me out so much.
I get so angry cause I wish I was a better singer.
I get and book these shows and go through a depression a few days before of knowing that I cant sing and people are going to talk about me.
I start worrying and then I cant write new songs

I realized how much that isn't why I started playing.
I play because I love it
I write because I love to
I sing because I love to.
and I think when you start stressing about the things you love the most you miss the meaning to do it.

I see this pattern in my walk with Christ ....
sometimes theres this stress, anger, and attitude like " What am I doing this for?"
and then it hits me...
because I love it.

When you start stressing and worrying and stop enjoying the things you love the most then your missing the point of your passion.

I would like to take this moment to ask you and for you to do this:
find the reason and passion for something you started and enjoy it again.
Find your enjoyment in your passions.

now go and enjoy
I have a show June 4th that I attend to have a blast at.

I did not proof read this and do not feel like making this a deep post.
Enjoy it for what it is

Trading

So I've traded..

Trading over the course of history has been a sufficient way of survival...
chicken for veggies.... veggies for milk.....milk for tools.....tools for labor etc.
At a point trading was an important way of life.
Have you ever heard the saying "trick of the trade"
Sometimes in this exchange you would get tricked and end up with something you never wanted....

I have traded the truth of Christ Jesus for a trick..
Romans 1:21 " For though they knew God, they did not glorify Him as God or show Him gratitude. Instead, their thinking became nonsense, and their senseless minds were darkened."

I know, I know God..
He has been so close to me since I was 13 and probably before then.
He has been calling me and pursuing me even before that it seems like.
Lately God has been taking care of me...
I was so stressed about working, making money, finding a job, and in the same day I cried out to God " God listen to me, I need money and I need help, I give you my life and trust you." in the next hour I was cutting grass at a friends house.
Why is it that this big God cares so much to prove Himself to me and why can't I, as a small human believe His who He says He is?
The book of Romans is were I've been camping out..
Its all about saved through grace by faith, by faith this, by faith that
I'm lacking!!!
Faith, I need to just be it and be in it!
Its a easy free gift that I make to complicated.
I want to goodness of God and have peace in my heart.

Where has my thoughts gone....
It seems like I cant meditate on the word anymore
that my thoughts are blocked.
and as I sit here and pray and think about it, I realize that I can't further my knowledge in Christ because I don't enjoy it.
I have traded my natural desire for Christ in for this fake empty one.
I need to be renewed.


God,
I cant pray in my head and I'm in barnes and noble so accept my prayer as I feel the need to type this out. Lord, make me new. I'm so tired of not trusting, not enjoying you. Daddy, I want to want you and to love you, and I know You desire me and You love me so whats the problem? Lord, God, Father, Lover of my soul, Romancer, King, hear my cry to you. Give me peace in this uneasy feeling and this aching heart that is just a stone. Revel what I need to change by the power of the holy spirit and let me enjoy You!!! Let me enjoy love, let me enjoy loving others. change me!!!!

I have no idea who You are..
so let this start our relationship
Its not about what I have to do but what You have done

Dang Howie day, you have me writing a new sad song!

Nothing here will stay....
all gone one day, up in flames
but I'll endure the fire to be with you....

Comb my hair part 2

Algebra....
It really does shape me to think in different ways..
to work out problems in certain ways
to figure out solutions before working them and predicting an outcome...

It, as in the Algebra, has some how triggered this blog.
It will be another one of the idea of relationships.

A variable-liable to or capable of change
Relationships are a variable
As I stop and talk to one of my friends in the mall she tells me how she and her boyfriend broke up because he changed.
What is so wrong with that?
Change can be good right?
Change is suppose to happen overtime.
but some change isnt so positive..
I don' know why you would want to date someone and then turn out for the worse
why would you want to change to make it worse?
No sense I tell ya
I havent ever really been in one, or at least one I care to really work on it.
I mean I cared, I just wasnt ready.
So here is my stand.
Relationship is a choice.
Deciding your ready and sticking to that.
Its saying Im ready and knowing you are.
I think thats why alot of people break up, they simple was not ready for that step in their life.
I guess this is why I choose to wait.
It really is something that shouldnt be taken lightly
why would you want to just date someone and it not last?
I dont think sharing special information with someone about your personal life and sharing your heart with them to only break up is a good idea.
Your heart is what keeps you beating
it is the special piece of you.
It is not where love comes from though
that comes from your spirit I believe
and if your spiritual not ready, then it is not a good idea to dive in.

I'm so guilty of this...
It really comes to a point where I have to be honest with myself
and I feel personally, after realizing this, will bring about my change for love.
I'm starting to finally get to a point where I feel like I can better share my heart.
I'm finally starting to be comfortable with who I am
insecurities are starting to go away
except for the teeth thing.. long story
but I'm starting to understand myself.
I really do love God and to better love him and people I have to pray it out loud and make the choice.
Cause if not I get real insecure and forget that Cameron Moore is all about loving God and loving people.
No more talk of not getting marreid, no more lies of leading on folks, no more misunderstandings.
I know what I do and do not want and in these past weeks knowing that and putting that into action feels great.

I am starting to grow up..
actions, words, attitudes
its all coming together
it feels great.
I have to keep these things in to practice.
Because I know this wonderful girl
and to be ready for her is what I want.
I want her to be moved by my love for Christ and people
to love small little things abut me
that putting my pop tart on for 22 seconds is cute to her
and me wearing my shirt unbuttoned all the way to the middle button to try and show off my lack of chest hair is attractive.
That holding my hand is security
and that my love handles are sweet
I also want to love the little things and I want to when asked
" What makes you so attracted to your gal?"
I can say well.... she likes to wink at folks and loves to walk the mall and look at the families.
Weird I am I know
but that is what I find attractive and romantic.
The small things folks

Take your time
love slow
love right
make the choice
change for the good

I am a hopeless romantic
and a goof
dang it.

back to math.
good bye my sweeties.

Comb my hair

The last week..... of the last 2 years or my life of community college.
How do you say goodbye to the friends you've made and the memories that make you?
2 years of community college changed my life.
I realized the point of life really is to love.
So I will start here

You want love
I want love
to give it
receive it
experience it in full....
everyone searches for love.
I've met so many people and this is the only thing I found in common with all of them..

Why is it that as a people group we long for the touch, affection, and whisper of love?
Why is it that we all try to find that "something" to fill this love void?
I'll answer this later...

When I was a senior in High School I liked this girl from Heritage Academy, for the sake of the post and her privacy I'll call her Sue.
yeah.... Sue fits..
I met Sue in the a.c.t before my senior year started.
She had beautiful blue eyes, dark hair, freckles, and the cutest nose!
She really loved and cared for people, like a mom instinct on roids!
Her heart would break for those that were hurting around her.
She was pretty and I wanted to know her..... so I laid the mack down. :)
Of course she fell for me, I was a natural charmer and well, I had skills.
I really fell for this young lady.
And since this is my blog I can say what I want without caring if anyone who reads this and get mad.
She was wonderful. We dated on and off and finally dated last January were I ended it after 2 weeks.
I didnt understand...
She was perfect!!!!!! Really..
But my heart was burdened.
And my God hole in my heart would not let this star shape Sue fit in, even though I loved her as Christ would, she just could not fill what I needed to be whole.
After that my life got crazy
I started to really seek Christ, and He let me find Him..
I was booked for the next 2 months pouring out love to churchs and people groups that I was traveling to speak at...
I was pouring out this faded misunderstood love.
I couldn't understand love and why it wouldnt let me be with someone
Along the way I've met other girls, honestly no one that I really clicked with.
All my fault though cause I was empty and Christ was not getting my full attention.
I forgot that God was love, that He is jealous, and I shouldnt leave Him dry for my love.
Because thats not love, the 5 minute "hey God how are you" or the " forgive me, I effed up big time."
No thats not it.
I continued to date ....
which was a terrible idea...
I later met a wonderful gal from I.C.C named.... Martha, yeah, Martha.
She could sing!!!!!!!! and play guitar!!!
but her square shape couldnt fill my God sized hole.

later after her came one that was pretty amazing, sandy.
She was a triangle.

I went on, over looking the fact that God's love is simple, but can easly be made complex.
But why make love so complex?
Its not math
you dont need tools, or instructions, or love for dummy books.
Love is simple
here it is..
Love.... is love.

For century's man has tried to prove God wrong but its not happening
because love lives
though I might not ever understand the love Jesus had for me, I know its love.
I know love is patient kind and etc.
But it also love
ya know?
I think you will feel it when you do..
You just know love.

I know Christ and I can for sure know I'm in love with Him.
After the hardships, arguments, and breaking up comes a beautiful sunset
which God knows I love, and sometimes I pray on my face and dance in my room to worship, because I know He loves that.

This is love my friends.
No need for me to go deeper.
Love is real because God is real
and God is real because love is.
No other religions mention love more, google that mess, I did.
Christ is the only " figure" that actually spent time with the sick and unrighteous, He waned to know us, so He experienced what we do.

You dont have to understand love to have love, but you do have to realize some where along your path of life, some shapes dont fit with other shapes, and forcing them only causes damage.

Im going to call it on this one, dont want to over write.
Today I enjoyed the love of Christ.
Simply by throwing the fresbee with my good friend Samuel Bragg, who doesnt get a fake name.
We sat down with the word and he confirmed my salvation.
Acts 16;31 believe on the lord Jesus and you will be saved.

Thats all I had to do.

My hole is not fitted with the goodness of life
though I still look for a woman, I now know what I want , and I know God knows the desires of my heart and what I need
a natural loving Christ woman
who is very smart
beautiful
athletic
shy, but not to much
musical minded
and a romantic.
and is happy to love my indecisive mind , crooked teeth, nappy hair, and finds real love in how much I love my God and my people.

have a great day.
Nothing fits me better then a God shape, and my other piece is out there.

Everyone wants love, so
get it.
Christ said its a free gift

I need to comb my hair;/