Dont forget my new blog is

thirdplacevictory.blogspot.com

I have a new blog

thirdplacevictory.blogspot.com

enjoy :)

thank you to everyone who followed me for so long.
New and better post soon to come on my new site ;)

Re-evaluate.

Live for Christ to be center of your life...
peace, joy, and grace.

Live for people to center your life
....... ruin.

I love you... but I won't do life with you.

I was recently asked the question" when did the disciples get saved?"

Think about it.
When were they not being discipled?

Lets look at how Christ took these disciples real quick

Christ didn't go to church looking for his disciples, he didn't go to the mall, or fancy businesses but went to the lakeside.
Where rejects sat and fished all day because they weren't worthy to walk in the dust of the rabbi.
So, Christ says " come follow me and I will teach you to fish for people."
Wow, from fish to people, I don't know about you but I wouldn't want someone throwing a net over my body... that was a joke... so laugh at that :)

But Christ in His love for these guys went and said " you are unworthy but I will give my life to make you righteous and will allow you to not only walk in the dust but do life with me, walk with me, love with me, travel and experience life together.

Lets stop here, not get to deep.
I want to give you time to think about things.
Love is when you do life with someone.
It isn't hey, I love you, Jesus loves you, bye.
Its hey, come follow me, lets walk together, lets experience together.

Maybe thats love.

I'm not revising this

Okay with okay.

I fear there is a academic that has swept morden Christianity away....
one of indie style and hippy thoughts.
Let me pose you this question.
What does it truly mean to love someone?

There is this saying among this young generation
" Love God, Love people"
Taken from John 15:12 and other scriptures in 1st John, this popular saying has missed the mark of what it truly means.
In the next few blogs I will try and break down this popular saying and point out its flaws.
If loving people for Christ means never telling them about Christ, did you even really love them at all?
If you only "love on" them but never tell the reason why, did you really still love them?

I will attempt to answer these questions in the most biblical response I know how.

I will go ahead and say this...
When you truly love someone that means you want the best for them right?
So wouldn't that mean equipping them with knowledge and teaching them about how to change for the better?
Now is not the time Christians to be okay with where you are, or ever for that fact..
It isn't the time or ever to settle for the love response, but actually knowing the weight of what love means and carrying on from there.
Wanna learn how to really love people?

next post coming soon.

Are you naked ?

Do you know why you exist on this earth?

It isn't to fulfill false desires that are temporary that lie to you in your heart and mind.


it isn't for me

it isn't for you.......

We are better than our mistakes.

Reason to Sing.

Revelation is one of the books of the bible that when you hear the title you grit your teeth.
Its popular among Christians and non- Christians and it carries the title of " hell fire and brimstone" you know, the book of "judgment"
well..... let me share a quick thought with you friends.

Revelation 4:3-11

"The one sitting on the throne was as brilliant as gemstones—like jasper and carnelian. And the glow of an emerald circled his throne like a rainbow. 4 Twenty-four thrones surrounded him, and twenty-four elders sat on them. They were all clothed in white and had gold crowns on their heads. 5 From the throne came flashes of lightning and the rumble of thunder. And in front of the throne were seven torches with burning flames. This is the sevenfold Spirit of God. 6 In front of the throne was a shiny sea of glass, sparkling like crystal.

In the center and around the throne were four living beings, each covered with eyes, front and back. 7 The first of these living beings was like a lion; the second was like an ox; the third had a human face; and the fourth was like an eagle in flight. 8 Each of these living beings had six wings, and their wings were covered all over with eyes, inside and out. Day after day and night after night they keep on saying,

“Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God, the Almighty—
the one who always was, who is, and who is still to come.”

9 Whenever the living beings give glory and honor and thanks to the one sitting on the throne (the one who lives forever and ever), 10 the twenty-four elders fall down and worship the one sitting on the throne (the one who lives forever and ever). And they lay their crowns before the throne and say,

11 “You are worthy, O Lord our God,
to receive glory and honor and power.
For you created all things,
and they exist because you created what you pleased.”

Day and night, forever eternity.
A song of praise is to God.
Holy holy holy is the Lord God almighty.
constant worship and praise.
This big beast rejoicing because of God and His beauty.

My mind can't comprehend

but what it can.. today is..
We should want to be apart of this song.
Do you know what God has done for you ?
-given His son to give you life
- seeked you out to save you
- He wants you to be apart of His will.
This big, masterful, all knowing God wants you to be apart of His works.
What if you are the future landscaper of the new heavens and earth
what if you get to help build the most beautiful waterfall?
What if you are the one giving high fives at the gate?

Do you understand that God said we are a new creation?
You and I had crimson stains....
scars from a past...
that sex and other people left,,,
family members tore into us....
hurt and pain and loss..
we all have wounds...
and Jesus made them white as snow.
You are brand new.
New today to lift your head, breathe in deep, and start fresh.

This is a book of praise to a God who makes us white as snow, praise to God who was..
is
and is to come...
He is eternal..
so when pain hurts for a short time...
joy will last forever.

I want to join this song.

God is good.
I don't feel the need to make this real deep or artisy
just real
from my heart.

Sing with me
for that......... is a reason........... to sing.....

whoa whoa whoa ooo ooo

ten things I enjoy.

1. planting apple seeds
2. andrew belle
3. working hard in the yard
4. eatting a apple in my underwear
5. spraying off with the water hose
6. reconnecting with an old friend
7. finding out someone wants me to come love on their baby!!!! I love kids
8. happy praise songs that let you know everything is good with God
9. talking to trey woods and samuel bragg back to back
10. My newest best friend. Amina B.

:)

Miss communcation between heart, mind, and soul.

Its always easiest to focus on what bad, tragedy, or mistake that has devastated your life.
Somehow when we stop, which doesn't happen often, when we give ourselves time to work through our thoughts , we find ourselves examining the parts we don't like.
The person that talked about us..
the person we lead on....
the choice we regret...
mistakes..

When focusing on these things leads to unhealthy thinking and self destruction.

So here, today, in this blog, I will share to you a victory and a victory in the works.
But I also won't share alot.
I recently heard this saying " your story is sacred"
So, I don't want to share that with everyone.
I want to save some of the wonderful details for a wonderful woman one day. Assuming there will be one.

Recently I have decided to rest.
Spiritually rest.
What that means is taking a break from ministry.
I found my cup empty and it needs filling.

I spent 2 weeks in Mo.
No computer or cell phone
I was forced to be reconciled unto God.

Here is what I found.
- He somehow wasn't my first love anymore
- That I have made pre conceived notions about how Christianity should look
- that I need a foundation and set some things in stone.
- that I need time to heal.
- that purity is a passion of mine again
- that as a man of God I should have tons of respect for women, in which that is His daughters.
- I need to love the Lord my God with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength.

I prayed that I would count everything a loss compared to the value of knowing Christ as my lord and savior. Phil 3
I'm so thankful that He heard me...
That God loves me enough to discipline me and re shape my heart

A friend told me that my church was asleep and I replied to him that my church was burning down...
This is what God told me.

" Aaron's sons Nadab and Abihu put coals of fire in their incense burners and sprinkled incense over them. In this way, they disobeyed the LORD by burning before him the wrong kind of fire, different than he had commanded.

So fire blazed forth from the LORD's presence and burned them up, and they died there before the LORD.

Then Moses said to Aaron, "This is what the LORD meant when he said, 'I will display my holiness through those who come near me. I will display my glory before all the people.'"And Aaron was silent. Lev 10:1-3

God is refining me by the fire.
He is drawing me near.

God loves me enough to tell me in the mist of my hurt, depression, and at the end of my rope, that He wants me to be apart of my life.
That I'm going through this for a bigger purpose then what I can see.
He loves me and He wants to be my first love.

I will stop here.
When is the last time you viewed God as your first love?
Have you ever?
Are you allowing God to speak into your life?

You can't take someone somewhere you've never been.

I want to be in love with God and His word so deeply that it pours off of me.
I want joy of salvation.

I'll stop here.

:)

love you .

p.s I dont go back and read these
sorry for mispelled words or run ons or anything weird that didnt make sense.

Only hoping as time goes.

I remember when I first started praying for a wife...

I was 13 and just accepted Christ.
I knew then, at such a young age, that every Godly man needs a Godly woman.

I'll skip the great detail of the in-between 13-21...

Years I have ravaged hearts.
Years I have given away pieces of mine.
Years I have spent wanting more and also wanting less..
and it left me with a messed up mind and a heart heavier than ever.

I decided to start a journey. More of a healing process.
Its one that could be so ugly.

I want to..

face

my sin.

I want to face
myself..

There has to be more to life than finding yourself in a pit of regret, knowing what the Truth is, but hiding it from myself.

I don't want my desire to be a woman no longer
but Gods own heart.

There needs to be a change.

I'll spare you the deep writing and tell you bluntly

any man who wishes to change must remember that his old man still remains and doesn't want to be replaced.

I just have to find who I want to be.

I don't want to walk with regret.

Maybe the truth is......we've never known Him at all....

-But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Phil 3:7.

-Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ. Phil 3:8

-and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith-- 3:9

-that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death. 3:10

Have you ever stopped to think to yourself what is most important to you in your life?

I won't finish this blog tonight due to my self examination.
but here is something to think on.
When have you suffered a loss of giving up something to find out just how worth your relationship with Christ is?
have you ever gained something to loss it for Christ sake ?
have you ever lost something and gained something new for your relationship.
have you ever put your self righteousness aside to find righteousness from God?

What is the importance of your life?
what is it you treasure ?

everything is temporary.
Except Christ.
Its eternal.
but yet .....
you seek to save here on this earth
you seek to gain and loss nothing
and have yet to find Christ worthy.......

may you and I both find out how worthy Christ is like paul states here.
May we both find that love.
the one where we loss or gain everything for the worth of Christ.

treasure ?
temporary or eternal?
I'm torn between.

A stranger now to memories

hard to believe ..

before the healing happens....

I don't care anymore.

Turn it off in all my spite.

No wonder why Jesus taught so much about "denying ourselves" or " selfishness"
Because within each human being is pride... and pride produces arrogance.... and self worth...
As in you start seeing yourself better than what you are and better than others...

I won't ever forget the time I got offered a job to go model in Nashville Tn for a few clothing companies.
I felt like that was my "big ticket" the one that would set me off toward acting and modeling and money... and fame.
And to a since even now I feel like I could have.
I feel honestly with the connections I've made and my drive to meet people I could have done anything.
instead I accepted Christ when I was 13 years old and lived a life of selflessness.. or tried to as best I could.

Even at work now I meet sooooo many women who tell me things such as " your hott" etc.
And in all reality what 21 year old male wouldn't let that go straight to his head.
I remember looking back on my "dating career" and remembering all the girls that I had to call it off with because they wanted to have sex, and thats just not what I believed in.

So, I wonder...
what would it look like to find perfection in pride?
What if I modeled, acted, had tons of sex with women, or was a lawyer or whatever.
what would my life look like?

I elevate myself today because these are the very thoughts I've had all day after a very unique conversation with a young lady today.

I know myself pretty well... and I'm very emotions driven.
assuming I would be if I didn't have Christ...
I bet I would feel empty..
lonely
depressed to worst extents...
I would probably wonder whats missing...

but on the flip side I wonder now.
What if, just like a switch, I could turn off the person I was and what I believed and thought as if I never met Christ.
Would all the fame and sex leave me empty?
would I finally let people stop walking on me ?
would I be as popular as I use to be...

Sometimes I think about how much money movie stars make, the fame, etc. and I feel like I could obtain that...
I could have that and be that
but then , what for ?

john 7 and 6
Talks about Jesus doing Gods will.
and if we do anything on our honor it is for our glory.
Anyone who seeks selfish gain for himself cannot live for Christ.
Because it is entirely against everything Jesus taught.
Jesus called us to be servants to others, put others before ourselves....
so if I was to look for perfection in pride I would be disconnected from Christ...

I look here lately and see a pattern of this pride and selfish gain....
No wonder why I struggle so much, I cant be in Gods will if I'm seeking my will or to be in my will.

So to see nothing in the light..
I'll pass.
I enjoy the small things.
Sex with one woman sounds just fine. One real love right there.
To be a model? na, I like my janked up teeth and love handles and mustache.

This was just something on my mind.
nothing to moving.
just a little write in my ole blog.
maybe this is you friend ?
You wondering why you feel out of Gods will?
well, hve you been in yours ?
You can't live to gain glory for yourself and Christ.
decide what you want.

I choose to be the bride of an eternity groom.
Love ever lasting:).

Will you ?

I think there is something about emotional break downs that really does bring you to your right mind.
You know, the kind where you grab the steering wheel and cuss words at it?
Where you call a friend complaining ?
where you cry out to God and find yourself not knowing what the eff your saying?

Yeah....
that was me today....

For some reason I feel so disconnected from God.
Its more then a feeling though, somehow I really am.
I miss being myself...
I miss loving people...
I miss being happy and desiring God...

but maybe honestly I missed the whole point there....

I think there is a reason for the storm I'm going through.
maybe its to finally see that I need God, without Him.. I can not function..
without Him I hate myself along with others.....
Life is dimer without Him and seems so hopeless..
I'm an emotional roller coaster 24/7
I have brought myself to this place
but found myself blaming God...

Some reason I became prideful
some how I stop relying on the love of God.
Some how I found myself bitter and somehow...
found myself hating myself
and hating others...

The source comes from a core point
what is bringing me down like this
is it my selfishness that has finally hooked me ?
is it my continue pile up of garbage without letting God heal me.

Will You God pour into me...
I'm fastly learning I can't live with out You.
I miss You God.
I miss cameron

It don't matter how or why.

Well...
Summer is officially here.
Yes, it is a good time to have fun and relax..
but for me it will be a time of healing.

This semester was a season of disconnect.
From God
from people
from cameron..

I have roughly 22 days before I head off to camp...
where I will pour out everything I have ...
and if I have nothing then I won't be able to pour..

I will take time for myself.
days of reading.
hiking.
thinking
praying
soul searching...

I need answers to my heart.
apart from ministry , who am I ?
apart from loving people, who am I?
what drives cameron moore..
what ruins cameron moore...

I need a new heart.
I need Gods heart.
You see, James 4 tells me , my heart is selfish..
hard , and self to even the core...

I need the Jealous love of God.
the undivided heart.
the one that is fully devoted to Christ.

this summer for me..
means the rest of my life.
I'm searching for heart change.

The sooner the better.....

Until next time.

do you know the core of you?
do you know what drives you?
is it selfish gain?
is it bitterness?
is there to much "you" in the picture?
do you .. know who you are ?

think on that

Is it true, is it true?

I remember when I first entered a relationship with Christ...
The first thing I done was say a cuss word quickly after singing along to a Pink song.
I remember starting to read the word and how weird it was...
It was me sitting in my room every night before bed, reading and praying.
I remember when I was young I had awesome faith...
I remember praying that God would take care of me, then I would let go, and then sure enough God always pulled through..
Even in my community college days He took care of me.

Somewhere along this "faith" journey I lost it.
I lost the faith that I knew God would always take care of me....
I started hanging out with realist.
They are so about whats tangible..
tell you stories of God rescuing you but you passing up the opportunity because you felt as if God who rescue you..
God never called me to security.
What have I been thinking ?
That I could possible run my life and God couldn't.
man.
I have strayed far from who I once was.

This summer I passed up an opportunity to work at a summer camp because I was worried about having a job when I got back and having enough money to pay rent when I get an apartment...
doesn't my God say He is a great provider?
doesn't He daily dress up flowers so beautifully ?
doesn't He daily provide fish with a place to swim and birds food to eat ?
how much more will He do for me?
I am His beloved creation.
Jesus died for salvation of my soul.
The flowers will fade away, but The word of God will always be here, living and active in my heart of hearts.
How do I not trust the master of the universe.

The mind set of the flesh is death, but the mindset of the spirit is peace and life Romans8:6.

My mind set changed to how I can provide..
not how He can provide.
and its left me numb..

At the seems I feel new life wanting to burst out and wanting God to be mine again but the stitching is so strong.
I'm afraid to let go again...

and see, you wouldn't understand this until you've been a person who has always been free.
Who has always allowed his faith to carry him wherever the Spirit says go too.
You wouldn't know what its like to fall, until you let go....

But I know that feeling.
I know that worried, anxious, freeing, victories feeling, knowing that My God will provide for me.
I remember it....

do you ?
have you ever experienced letting go ?

Just something to think on.

as always sorry for the typos, for the sentences that don't make sense.
I don't proof read.
so enjoy.

is it true, is it true?
could I be going away this summer?

" I stole a watermelon and a apple... thats about it."

I think its wise to sit in the counsel of an elder and allow him to speak their heart.
I mean, you not talk the whole time and allow this elder to ramble.

I figure the older you get, the more life seems dimer.
That after you accomplish everything you had set... there really is no more point to be alive than to eat, breathe, and be marry( if that is possible)

Today I had breakfast with my granddaddy.
We went to hardees and had coffee and biscuits.
Now, this is the granddaddy growing up you didn't spend much time with...
For some reasons, grandfather figures were sketchy to me growing up.
One left my maw maw to play music and race cars... along with women
and the other, the one I had breakfast with, well, we just didn't hit it off.

We talked about all kinds of things.
One thing we talked about was Jesus.
He asked me about evolution.
At this time we were done with breakfast and now walking through his flower garden.
We were looking at the tulips and they were beautiful.
Some were peppermint color and the others were white with purple strips.
I told him I believe things do evolve over time.
But energy cannot be created nor destroyed so that means big boom and everything else was ruled out, I won't go into detail for the sake of its a beautiful day outside and I'd like to be out there.
But eventually we talked about heaven.
and this was the conversation
" Grandad, do you believe you will be in heaven one day."
response " I think so, I think He may forgive me of all my sin. I remember when I got saved, I was standing in a ditch clearing out woods and the Lord slapped me in the face."
" well granddad you know you can be sure."

I just want to tell you folks, that you can be sure about your eternity.
Romans 10:9-10 says " if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and Savior you WILL BE SAVED."
" Therefore if you confess your sins before Him He is faithful and just and will forgive you of your sin." 1 john 1 :9
" Believe in the name of the Son Jesus Christ you will be saved." Acts 16: 19. Well I think its 19, I've been memorizing other scripture so that address is distant in my mind.

God 100% for sure forgives you of your sin.

As I said earlier that getting older it seems you don't have much to live for when you get older after accomplishing all your goals you set...
but ..
with Christ...
you will ALWAYS have a reason to be alive.
You will always have goals.
That is a relationship you can never complete!
It is always growing and being built.
It is a life long adventure and journey that continues as you grow.
So, even at 81, 83, 92, 14, or 21...
pursuing a relationship gives you a reason to always live and always have goals.
Never a reason to sit and wonder the end of death, when you can sit and think of the beginning of life. even at 83.

John 17:3
Eternal life is knowing God.
May you treasure it as Christ did and does.

p.s I did not proof read this, enjoy the mistakes and errors.

You are for me

I've always liked the idea of having lots of friends.
It seems, that the more friends you have the more like-able you are.
I don't think anything could be farther from the truth.....

I once was the most popular guy on campus at my community college.
Known by everyone, knew by none...
Theres a difference you see.
Knowing people is so surface level.
It is a " how are you?" with maybe no little care for the actual answer.
But to be " knewned" ha, so to be deeply known.
Stick with me, this has a clear point.

Actually.
I don't think this needs a clever written blog.

The truth is God loves you.
and there is absolutely nothing you can do for Him not to still love you
He will never forsake you in your weaknesses
Jesus once felt alone and scared and maybe emotionally drained when He was praying that God would remove the cup of suffering from Him.
But it was because He endured so much pain , that the world was saved.

You and I will struggle.
May we stop, you and I and look toward Christ.
and simply wait.
and know that He is for us and He will never leave us.

I will worship You...

Its not that I should be lonely

Its not that I shouldn't feel unloved

Its not that I should feel like I need the flesh of a woman

Its that I SHOULD be so satisfied with the love God has for me.
We we draw close He draws so close. Draw near to me, and I'll draw near to you James 4:8
He wants to be so near...
and its in His presence that healing
peace
grace
forgiveness
new life
is found.

Its in His word that plants in our hearts to spring us and make us what beauty we are.

How have I looked over this?
How have I looked over that I was made... MADE to worship?
God wants us to worship Him because He loves our voice... He just .. loves.

May I be drenched in the love of Christ.

For lent I have decided for 30 days to listen to nothing but worship music.

It is moving.
It is bringing me to a place of deep repentance.
To a place of just ... wholeness.
And healing.

Jesus loves us.
carries the weight of my sin and yours and the whole world.
Can we love Him as He loves us.
That is what I will strive for.

Some people call me Cadillac or anything smooth cause I'm nice. But you can call me Billy

Today as I was in starbucks getting my pike blend tall coffee to start my day off right after having two chicken and biscuits with strawberry jelly and some water while reading 1 John 2:1-3

" My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One.
He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world.We know that we have come to know him if we obey his commands."

I see this man on the way out on Starbucks...
He isn't dressed like a student or your typical adult.
I knew then .. he was homeless.
Not just for the way he was dressed... well.. you'd have to see him.

I walked out and it hit me...
buy him a coffee...
I said no... and kept walking..

I made it to the stairs until I said okay Lord.

Long story short I bought this man a grande black coffee, biggest one they had
sorry mom, we make money to bless others.
Anyways..
I bought this man coffee and took him to the creamer and sugar and told him he could put whatever he wants in it.

At the end I told him
God Bless.
Because He does.

He blessed me.

I want to know the commands of Christ live in me.
and I want to know I am not above anyone.

Go back up and read 1 John 2:1-3
Jesus died for my sins
and billy's also.
That makes us equal.
Our social class or age or color should not separate us.
and it didn't in that moment.

I am a great sinner..... with a GREAT SAVIOR.
Bigger than my sin.
And That makes me grateful and I should be more so.

I don't write this to boast or show off for me...
I write to tell you.
You are not better than anyone.
We are all sinners who are in need of a savior.
So you might as well start noticing people and praying that God would live in you and out of the over flow of Him living in you , you attempt to live out His commands.

You and I was once just dirt....
but God makes beautiful things out of the dirt.

Start noticing your neighbors...
They might come in the form of a Cadillac ... or the form of you.

Love, Discerns.

2 points of advice I look back and see why I should have accepted it and put it into practice sooner then what I did.

1. Grow up
2. Responsibility . Because it makes a man.

My whole life, my whole goal, my ... identity.... was loving people.
I've always just wanted to reach out to everyone. Men and Women alike.
I wanted anyone who sat in my company to feel as if they are the most special and important person at that moment.
I wanted to over tell them " I love you."
I wanted to complament them in abundance.
I wanted to reassure them of their good points... not their insecurities.
I want to give people what I always felt I wanted.....

1 John 4:16-18 says
And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us in that we will have confidence on this day of judgment because in this world we are like Him. There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment . The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

Maybe. As I reflect inward. That I am not made perfect complete in love.
In the persence of Christ, I don't think anyone felt that He was sketchy and His motives were wrong. I think in His presence He was honest, and discerning.

I think maybe I've over looked discernment.
I think I over looked relying on the love and power of Christ.
how did I, cameron moore, ever think I could accomplish anything on my own. By my power.
What filled me with false security and pride that I thought I knew how to love people.

Who am I to say I know how to love.
I have no idea what scarifice means.
I have no idea what it means to come into a world you loved, become man for man, and be rejected and crucified.
only .... to see.. that your bride still rejects you.

I have no idea of perfect love
I have no thoughts
I have no heart or mind to begin to understand the love the Father has for me.

What have I been doing this whole time?
Hinding behind the excuse of " I'm loving people"
when really I was hurting people.
Love comes and has to come with discernment.

What love doesn't come with knowledge.
Jesus knew what was in man, but loved them anyway.
He was knowledgeable and discerned His actions.
Sometimes after loving a person and healing them, He told them to go away and be healed and tell no one.
Why do I feel as if I can pull people back and forth and feel as if I can heal them.
So here it is.

Identity crisis.
Its funny because I remember tons of talks that I've had with people about finding themselves in Christ and here I am ... 20 going on 21 ...
and I'm starting over with finding my identity.
Better now to find myself in Christ than never.

" But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we HAVE fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, His Son, purifies us from all sin." 1 John 1:7

So here it is.

If I walk in the light I don't have to worry about if I will be loving people because walking in Him means fellowship with others and confidence to rely on the love of Christ.
So for me.

I don't have to show out .
I don't have to make it a point to love folks.
It will just come as I draw near to Christ.
After all, we are a reflection of our relationship with Him.

" And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with KNOWLEDGE and all DISCERNMENT." Phil 1:9.

Love isn't always empty complements or flirting..
matter of fact it isnt at all.
Sometimes its telling people what they don't want to hear and letting the Spirit of Christ do the rest.
Maybe its today that I start to better understand its not I who can do anything...
but Its Gods word that built mountains, healed the sick, cleansed us of our debt.

So as a new creation I see what I do know.
I once hated Jesus. I was an enemy. I was separated.
But while I was still a sinner, He became sin and died for me even though He came only to love and invite people into a relationship with the Father.
I see there is no fear in the Love of God.
that in Him is rest and fellowship.
and as I draw near, I will live out His will for my life.
I see that in God there is peace.
I see there is grace.
I see I need to know His word.

I'm learning.
I'm growing.
and I'm figuring out who I am....
but only in Christ and for Christ and through... Christ.

that is all for today.

What destroys .... love heals.

Without many words.....

Just know this...

Jesus loves you.

He gave His life so you may know Life.

He gave His life so you could know relationship with the Father.

He forgives you of everything you done and makes you new.

You are apart of a big beautiful family when He enters your heart..

He hurts when you hurt.... he hurts when you hurt Him.

Know love, know Christ.

Let people tear down the temple.

He'll just rebuild it.

:)

You make it right.

Today, I have thought only about marriage.

I am the bride of Christ.
He gave everything to be with me.
And one day He is coming back for me because He has prepared a place for me.
I will one day enter the chambers of my lover.

Along with these thoughts I have thought about my future wife.
So if your not looking for the typical Cameron post about a wife.. then stop reading now.
:)

I have been thinking so much about how to love a wife and how I imagine her to be.
And honestly I can't possibly get close to how amazing she is.

I want every conversation to bring up what God is doing in our lives.
I want to be encouraged and feel cared for.
I want her to be so thoughtful and kind hearted that it shakes me and makes me love people 100000000 times better!
I want to grow old singing folk songs on the back porch about our kids and our kids kids and how the love of God is so sweet. sweet like honey.
I want our house one day to be the kind of house that never sleeps.
I want company...
lots of company..
and on the day we don't ...
I want my wife and I to sit on the porch and allow me to hold her under my arm and drink coffee and reflect on the gospel of Christ and see how close we are to living it out.
I want each moment to be a sweet moment.
Even when we fight.
I want to make up.
I understand that marriage is going to be hard work, and tough sometimes....
but I want to fight it with someone who cares... and someone who cares to get it right..

I want to play in the rain and get muddy
only to track inside of our house and get muddy feet on the floor..
that way we can strip down.. and laugh... only at the fact the only thing thats white is our eyes and teeth...
I'd like to then clean up and go read.
I liked to work in the yard and have a garden.
I would like for us to enjoy working in the yard together.
I would like for her job to make us money, and with that money we spend it on the people we care for the most.
I would like to do projects with her.
Travel and kiss on every trail that I enjoy hiking.
I want her to hang with her girlfriends
and allow me and my friends to play poker and fart and eat meat
and she does her own thing.

I need space ya know ?
I'm someone who needs my time to sit and think... write .. and get my mind right.

Anywho.

I just got a phone call so It kind of ruined my train of thought.

have a great day!

P.s You make it right.

Raining is tapping on my wheels.

Something old has re-entered my life.

It doesn't feel old.
It feels fresh and new.
Like it belongs.

I'm making transitions in my life.
So I won't be damned.

I know I need Jesus.
Its the only thing I can count on.

Oh my stars.

I need secrets.

Have you ever felt bear?
Like you have poured out so much of yourself that you've actually lost apart of yourself?

There was times in my life that I poured into women..
Countless, numerous, amounts of women.
I would share so many secrets and deep feelings, very few, well, maybe one or 2 that got the real deepness of me.
But things didn't work with them due to me not being at peace with myself.

Have you ever tried to fall in love ?
It doesn't work.
Trying to give yourself away , empty-less pouring into the opposite sex in search of something that should come so natural.
I think the longing for someone to reach you is something you shouldn't search for...
but something that comes to you..
I don't believe in "falling in love"
cause you fall out..
I believe in growing...
but I also believe in those toe standing, emotional racing, heart pounding moments in which you find the person that makes you .... better.. well....
complements you.
That someone, fits you.


Before I lend my heart to any one else..
I will understand it.
I will have secrets.
I will have passions and desires that I don't share with anyone.
Music I listen to for myself.
Songs I sing that no one will hear.
Because there mine.
I want intimacy with Christ that speaks for its self.
I want to be full of life and joy.... knowing that I'm not cheating myself... or anyone else.
If you want to hang out, yes lets, but you will receive none of my charm.
No more will I easily lease my heart.
Yes, I am an open book, but every book has "out cuts" that didn't make it, and words that should have been.
I plan to still love people and pour into them, but I also plan on protecting my heart.
And having secrets.
Something thats mine that you don't know.
and saving that for someone special.

be encouraged. be yourself.

-Cameron.