Miss communcation between heart, mind, and soul.

Its always easiest to focus on what bad, tragedy, or mistake that has devastated your life.
Somehow when we stop, which doesn't happen often, when we give ourselves time to work through our thoughts , we find ourselves examining the parts we don't like.
The person that talked about us..
the person we lead on....
the choice we regret...
mistakes..

When focusing on these things leads to unhealthy thinking and self destruction.

So here, today, in this blog, I will share to you a victory and a victory in the works.
But I also won't share alot.
I recently heard this saying " your story is sacred"
So, I don't want to share that with everyone.
I want to save some of the wonderful details for a wonderful woman one day. Assuming there will be one.

Recently I have decided to rest.
Spiritually rest.
What that means is taking a break from ministry.
I found my cup empty and it needs filling.

I spent 2 weeks in Mo.
No computer or cell phone
I was forced to be reconciled unto God.

Here is what I found.
- He somehow wasn't my first love anymore
- That I have made pre conceived notions about how Christianity should look
- that I need a foundation and set some things in stone.
- that I need time to heal.
- that purity is a passion of mine again
- that as a man of God I should have tons of respect for women, in which that is His daughters.
- I need to love the Lord my God with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength.

I prayed that I would count everything a loss compared to the value of knowing Christ as my lord and savior. Phil 3
I'm so thankful that He heard me...
That God loves me enough to discipline me and re shape my heart

A friend told me that my church was asleep and I replied to him that my church was burning down...
This is what God told me.

" Aaron's sons Nadab and Abihu put coals of fire in their incense burners and sprinkled incense over them. In this way, they disobeyed the LORD by burning before him the wrong kind of fire, different than he had commanded.

So fire blazed forth from the LORD's presence and burned them up, and they died there before the LORD.

Then Moses said to Aaron, "This is what the LORD meant when he said, 'I will display my holiness through those who come near me. I will display my glory before all the people.'"And Aaron was silent. Lev 10:1-3

God is refining me by the fire.
He is drawing me near.

God loves me enough to tell me in the mist of my hurt, depression, and at the end of my rope, that He wants me to be apart of my life.
That I'm going through this for a bigger purpose then what I can see.
He loves me and He wants to be my first love.

I will stop here.
When is the last time you viewed God as your first love?
Have you ever?
Are you allowing God to speak into your life?

You can't take someone somewhere you've never been.

I want to be in love with God and His word so deeply that it pours off of me.
I want joy of salvation.

I'll stop here.

:)

love you .

p.s I dont go back and read these
sorry for mispelled words or run ons or anything weird that didnt make sense.