Only hoping as time goes.

I remember when I first started praying for a wife...

I was 13 and just accepted Christ.
I knew then, at such a young age, that every Godly man needs a Godly woman.

I'll skip the great detail of the in-between 13-21...

Years I have ravaged hearts.
Years I have given away pieces of mine.
Years I have spent wanting more and also wanting less..
and it left me with a messed up mind and a heart heavier than ever.

I decided to start a journey. More of a healing process.
Its one that could be so ugly.

I want to..

face

my sin.

I want to face
myself..

There has to be more to life than finding yourself in a pit of regret, knowing what the Truth is, but hiding it from myself.

I don't want my desire to be a woman no longer
but Gods own heart.

There needs to be a change.

I'll spare you the deep writing and tell you bluntly

any man who wishes to change must remember that his old man still remains and doesn't want to be replaced.

I just have to find who I want to be.

I don't want to walk with regret.