Will you ?

I think there is something about emotional break downs that really does bring you to your right mind.
You know, the kind where you grab the steering wheel and cuss words at it?
Where you call a friend complaining ?
where you cry out to God and find yourself not knowing what the eff your saying?

Yeah....
that was me today....

For some reason I feel so disconnected from God.
Its more then a feeling though, somehow I really am.
I miss being myself...
I miss loving people...
I miss being happy and desiring God...

but maybe honestly I missed the whole point there....

I think there is a reason for the storm I'm going through.
maybe its to finally see that I need God, without Him.. I can not function..
without Him I hate myself along with others.....
Life is dimer without Him and seems so hopeless..
I'm an emotional roller coaster 24/7
I have brought myself to this place
but found myself blaming God...

Some reason I became prideful
some how I stop relying on the love of God.
Some how I found myself bitter and somehow...
found myself hating myself
and hating others...

The source comes from a core point
what is bringing me down like this
is it my selfishness that has finally hooked me ?
is it my continue pile up of garbage without letting God heal me.

Will You God pour into me...
I'm fastly learning I can't live with out You.
I miss You God.
I miss cameron