Sunday, December 26, 2010

New History.

The hardest thing is to let go.
Forgiving yourself is such a tricky obstacle.
You can be moved on, feeling good, then it creeps your mind.
Recently I moved on from a beautiful young lady, who was ... perfect. really.
Have you ever met someone perfect ? Their life goals, attitude, etc are just flawless and your only prayer was that God would allow this to be the one, that this will be it.
of course you have.
But for some terrible reason.... it doesn't feel right with you...
It doesn't settle right. So your forced to move on.
Each of you probably have, but each know that it is the right thing to do.

You see, I feel I have a unique calling in life, with this unique call I carry tons of baggage... tons of regret .. mistakes... and sometimes its not so forgiving.
Sometimes it hits the back of my foot.. don't you hate when your carrying your bags and they do that? gosh. it hurts.
It is my stumble.
It is my baggage.
Its my... mind

You see I believe in God. and as much as I believe in God I have to believe in satan.
He is just as real as God is.
And we choose to act like he doesn't.... and the worst thing is ... we do the same to God.
The signs of God is there.
His words remain.
" Take courage my sons, your sins are forgiven." Matthew 9:2.
From east to the west.
He remembers no more.
And we should be the same way.
Carry on with your life.
For to long you have given to much open space in your mind, to much of your life worrying if you got it right, if people like us , if their mad at us..
For to long I have....
Not anymore.
I take back my life and give it all over to Christ.
Gods love is like a fire, and I'm like a flame.
He is burning out my impurities and He is making me new.
A new creation.

I'm making a new history for myself and leaving the old one behind.
the scars, the brokenness, the mistakes.
I choose for myself a new history
I choose to accept Gods offer of allowing Him to make me new.
I encourage you to do the same.

Friday, December 24, 2010

What it was like without you here...

Do you ever have those real life moments?
Like the kind where it seems you observe more than usual.
I had one tonight.
I was siting at the living room table eating my taco soup and I looked at my grandfather and I could tell he has gotten weaker. In his voice, face, hands, you could see life was just being drained.
I then looked at my little cousin , and she is now 2.
It just seems we all are growing up and getting old.
And honestly its something we dont give much thought too..

Now, I know you know, that everyone gets old, duh, but do you realize it?
Do you realize that probably looking back on your life you have wasted some of it?
Like worrying..
What good did that do?
Why did it matter if this person was my friend or not?
Why did I break this girls heart ?
and it that moment it seems to be the biggest deal... when the truth is ... next year .. month... or day... It doesn't mean a thing.

I have wasted tooooo much of my life on what does not matter.
Like worrying about if people like me, or if they are mad...
can I say screw that ?
Yeah, I can.
Screw that.

People, lets you and I slow down.
Lets say screw it.
I think its healthy.
What matters today is that God is good , in Him is the spirit, and through the spirit are sooooo many sweet gifts.
One of those are peace.
Im on a journey to find it.
I encourage you to do the same.
I read in Col 1 today, wait I think its 1, anywho.
In God, everything holds together.
Everything is sustained by God.
Im not wasting anymore time on the unsustainable.
God should be my one desire.
I'll encourage He'll be yours as well.

Merry Christmas.
I didn't proof read this :)
Hope it makes since. or is it sense.
I think sense.

I'm going to be an english major ha.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Open your eyes dear.


It can be such a powerful act to embrace.
It can reflect and look back, only to get dust from your past in your eye
or you can reflect momentarily on what is going on, send it a kiss, and move on.

Alot of us are stuck on what is pulling us down.
The bad boyfriend or girlfriend
the trust issues
the thought of you never falling in love
the ideas that your ideas will always be ideas.... never reality.
Dreams become factory jobs.
True love becomes giving your body to some loser who doesnt understand what it means.

Then you sit.
Sit in a puddle of sadness.
Ive sat there plenty of times, and then your afraid to try again.
Your afraid to do something different. something new. afraid to embrace the new person youve always wanted to be.

that was me.
But ive never had a boyfriend nor will I ever have one, not my style, or anything for that fact.

" Take courage, son; your sins are forgiven." Matthew 9:2

And that is that.

Yes, I will take my courage, and I will try again.
Only we can allow ourselves to fail. God wants more out of me and you.
He wants us to succeed.
For me that means being broke, happily in love, and changing lives for the love of Christ Jesus, and figuring out just what the eff am I doing here.
which is to glorify God.
Im here to love and be Loved.

Ive learned alot about myself.
Im not afraid to go.
I can be anywhere and meet anyone.
I can be happy and sad.
I long for the presence of a woman.
I confuse myself.

Ive recently took a step back and looked at everything.
I need the presence of God, only that, then good company.
No need to lie to myself and say I need a cute woman.
Even though the newest one Im hanging out with is going to be a doctor...
but am I being true to myself.
I want my difficulty to meet simplicity.
I want to lay in the floor with the tops of our heads touching , and we both wiggling our feet while we ponder on our newest thought of the marvel of God.
Ive been learning to Just Believe.
The importance of the word.
Im just now getting my hunger back for the Lord.
and it comes.... fom the courage we talked about earlier.

For anyone who reads this, if anyone does anymore,
I encourage to rediscover you.
What do you like about yourself.
Because Jesus loves everything about you.
Your awkward love handles, or freckles, or jacked up teeth.
He digs it.

Now if you are over weight, please run, it will just make you feel better, and try and be healthier ... it just makes sense :) sorry for that ha

God is not ticked at you.
God is greater than your heart and emotions.

Learn to let go.

Im learning to be honest.
honest enough that I need to let some things go...

smile .

I didnt feel like proof reading, comment if anything seems unbalanced

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Its easy to dwell.

You know..
Its easy to dwell on the bad.
And then in the good times, you float on and forget.
We all expect good, but never bad.
So this blog is gonna be about praise.
Praise that Gods love never fails.

I moved to Louisiana in August and will be returning to Starkville in January.
My time here was not in vain.
I learned to love a family.
I learned that running from your calling in life is not pleasant.
I learned that friends are truly important and you shouldnt walk through this world alone..
I learned that I was called to plant churchs.
That my passion moves fast and stays shortly.. and then it needs to move.
I was born to travel.
so, on I will travel.

I have no idea what Columbus has to offer me.
But I know its a desert place that needs the love of Christ.
And I have a passion for that place now and look forward to spreading the love of Christ.
Its gonna be tough but I know fulfilling.

God is faithful.
He hears our crys. Exodus 3.
My plan is to live out Psalm 100:3
Look that up :)

Im on journey to answer "Who do you say I am?"
Im gonna know, and I do know.
God's nature is love.
And we should and I should believe this.

All Glory honor and praise be to the everlasting and Holy God that gives us numerous chances in this life and to succeed.

Its easy to dwell on the bad, but today I'll linger in the grace of God.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

What the Lord told me about Thanksgiving.

Isaish 65:16-17
" For the past troubles will be forgotten and hidden from My eyes. Behold I will create new heavens and a new earth. The former things will not be remembered, nor will they come to mind. Verse 18. I will rejoice and take delight in my people."

God remembers, forgets, hinds, our past troubles and sins.
I am a new creation in Christ.
That my mistakes are small compared to the righteousness of His grace.

" Before they call I will answer while they are still speaking I will hear." 24.

Before I begin to confess God already hears
while Im speaking He was always listening

1john 1:9
He is faithful to forgive us of our sin

He is worthy of all glory and praise.

" Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain." Psalm 139:6

God is so loving.
I cant believe I would even lend my heart out to be consumed by anything else.
I long for the passion of Christ, no longer will I search for marriage or approval by man.
I will dig into the heart of my Father and seek the spirit to pour

romans 5: 5
" And hope does not disappoint us because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit whom He has given us."

While we were still powerless and overcome with sin Jesus Christ, friday a thief sunday a king, gave His life so we , you and I can have life and He laid death in His grave.
Life is for you and I .
to walk in light 1 John 1
to walk in this truth that sets us free, to pray and have power in His name. But death is not like the trespass.
Gods give brings us life, the trespass brought death .

I am thankful for a savior who washes away my sin and forgets
who loves me with everything of His kingdom.
It is not about me, but others, and that is a beautiful love.
In the words of david. " you think Im undignified now, I will become even more than this."

All praise and thanksgiving be to you Holy and gracious father whop remembers my sin no more, all glory and power to Your name. Daddy consume me like a winters fall and come and burn me with a kiss.
In Jesus name and by the power of the mighty Holy Spirit. Amen.

Monday, November 22, 2010

And in today already walks tomorrow.

Its been to long.

How do we as people become so selfish?
When do we start over looking others to pride ourselves?
Its unique , The God and Jesus I fell in love with many years ago isn't the same one to me anymore....
Its not that He has changed.... its I..... that has changed...
I never thought it would come to this but I have become bitter towards people...
I have lost the reason to follow the Lord I fell in love with...
Its a wonder to me..
who was it that I feel in love with..
I remember being so connected with God.
How differently my conversations were with people..
How different my coffee tasted... how much better my days were..
This separation that I have come to know is not what I want for my life.
John 10:10 once told me Jesus came to give me abundant life and that in Him I can have complete joy.

I once heard a story .
There was this old man and his old wife and they would take road trips.
They drove a single cab truck.
And she being the head over heels in love woman would ride right by the mans side...
and one day slowly moved and moved until she was fasted with her own seat belt.
She looked over at her husband and asked " why dont we sit close to one another anymore?" and he replied " Who moved?"

It is I that has moved.
There comes times in a relationship were things are passionate..
I have yet to give Jesus a passionate moment with my heart. I have starved Him of the love He wants from me even though He promises good for me, I forget my roll in our relationship.
He is provider and my hands... can not.

Im relearning of who I once fell in love with.
I have told one of my students Jesus was all about meeting the broken where their at.
Im going to take my own advice.
Jesus once met a broken woman at a well and offered her life.
Well, Im thirsty
and hungry
and I dont ever wan to thirst again.

I'll finish this later.

until then.
Believing He is who He says He is ,

Friday, October 15, 2010

I hope its in these times...
I hope that in these times of silence.. that God does hear the sound of a breaking heart.

I think there comes a time where you've gone too far. In my case it seems too far.

It needs to be simple. simple.simple.

Father God,
I dont even know where to begin to speak.
I type and blog right now cause my mouth feels heavy..

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Sweetest In the Morning.

Be still my heart and focus on the Lords decrees.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Its getting sharp on me :)

Coffee, alabama, absolutely beautiful weather, and a fresh connection with Christ.
Life is good.

Life really is what you make it.
I believe love can be like in the movies.
I believe you can fall deeply head over heads with someone and stay that way forever.
You can enjoy your favorite things with this person and they will enjoy them.
such as.
Going to the mattress store and laying on all of them, to later make the bad joke of you snuggled with all the people that buys a mattress.
Drinking coffee for the pure fact it is cool to drink coffee!
Listen to indie music because its just.... well its cool also
and dress up cause you dig it!
You can walk downtown and take pictures !!! And laugh because someone has a booger in their nose!!!!!!
What love doesnt come without is , sacrifice?
It walks hand in hand
then you can have moments where you fuss at one another and then make up with a big sloppy kiss.
You can then hold hands and sing to one another.
and you then find yourself writing songs about that person.
True love is real.
It is in Christ.

" But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with Him in spirit." 1 Cor 6:17

To unite yourself with the love of Christ....
I bet it is so fulfilling....
That laying on mattresses, writing songs, walking downtown, and sipping coffee is transformed into something more beautiful.
Transformed into a date with Christ of romance.
Paul says " I would like for you to be free from concern."he is talking about not getting married.

Paul states his opioin on way he feels its best to stay single...
and simply....
its because no one can satisfy like Christ....
Even in the mist of pauls suffering
no one
could ever
satisfy like the Lord does.

To unite so deeply with the Lord..
is to experience the movie love we all have searched for since P.S. I love you
or whatever movie that was the one that set you over the top for such great wonders.

To mess up along the way..
To lend your heart out is ok..
because the coming back is the best part.

john 3:17" For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him."

" God who has called you into fellowship with His Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful." 1 Cor 1:9.

Its time to start having faith and believing that what Jesus said was true.
His promise wont fail.
He came to rescue and to give abundant life, and when the seasons of hard things come through we can rejoice that we are still alive, even though those times suck....
In those times He calls us to be joyous, so how would I walk look if we did such?

Its time to stop, and to start searching for love.
God has all good worked out for those who love Him- Romans8:28.

My mother just admitted to loving third day....
I now disown her, not really.

She is a prime example that Gods love is good.
My folks use to not go to church
Until I started speaking to them and about their hard times
and they went..
they are still going
and hard times are still coming but the point is ... love of God is satisfying.

Its been allllooonngnggngngngngng time since Ive been in love with God and felt change
and I am in a wonderful season where I just have rediscovered.
I have built soooo many relationships, spoken to many people , and traveled everyone to make friendships that are forever changed for the both of us, and to experience this way of thinking again feels great.

Be encourged my friends in this new season, though it may be hard, or joyous.
God is faithful and you wasnt made to fail.

Happy Fall

also my favorite hoilday is here!!!!!
halloweennnnnnnnn yes
scary movies everyday!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

In my veins.

I think its ok to keep secrets between you and God.
Most married couples share everything..... tell one another everything.
Why should it be any different with the maker.

I think its in my veins....
I feel Christ, the spirit to be more excite.
It seems I cant function anymore if I don't meet with Christ.

you know what,
I'll save this thought for myself.
love you.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Its a fight between my heart and mind... no one really wins this time.

"How easily the heart of man is tamed."- J. Tillman.

The heart and mind is a confusing combination.
I look at the relationships I have formed with people and realize that each relationship has its uniqueness attraction.
I don't mean attraction as "your hott" I mean the reason why you like this person.
Each relationship has its own identity is what Im trying to say.
When a young man is looking for love it just so happens that sometimes his heart and mind are on different pages.
Usual this is because lack of time spent with Jesus in deep communication figuring out just what is going on...

This is my case.
I love people so sooo much.
It often leads to heart ache for myself and for others.
I have met wonderful young ladies that some will forever hold a place in my heart, just not hold my heart and looking backing, my choice of words and actions could have been better, but the state of change feels wonderful.
I will not fall back in my old mold, in Christ we are a new creation.

With this case of non equilibrium, often times my mouth speaks before my heart and mind are on the same page.
Love is often a wore out, talked about subject... but if you stop to think about it.. its what we are all after.
You can make up your mind and in your heart to not look but you will find your eye looking at the opposite sex's and wondering.
Its the attraction!!!
For me its not the looks anymore, of course it is to a point, but its attitude and spirit and the " I dont know"
meaning-sometimes you dig someone and you dont even know why.

I think its dangerous when you cant distinguish your feelings correctly.
Not only does it leave heart ache for you but for others also.
I promise ya, I'm the master at this, but we all, yes including you, have a sin that is our downfall.
For you it could be porn, action figures, idols of loving something, etc. for me its the idea of love and falling in it and not being careful of what my heart is really saying.
Dating isnt mentioned in the bible, people would just straight up get married.
I dot want to be that typical Christian guy who thinks and talks about it all the time, I find Jesus to be a wayyy better topic but, its such a beautiful topic.
Does anyone really want to be alone?

Not I.
Join me on my journey of change and growing to become the Christian man I'm called to be.
Its possible with Christ.
So ... conclusion:
You are more then the choices that you make, you are more then the sum of your past mistakes, you are more then the problems you create, you've been remade.

short post, yes.
writing again finally.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

None but Jesus.

I think the worst feeling you can ever attain is apathy or indifference
apathy- lack of interest or concern.
indifference- absence of compulsion to or toward one thing.

Growing numb toward scripture is a place you never want to get in your walk with Christ.
I find myself with confused feelings, miss-read thoughts, abused relationship, and lack of emotions.

I was once told by a very respected friend of mine that you can't rely on your emotions to tell you were you stand in your walk with God.
But I ponder that...
God gave emotions.
Sad, mad, happy, anger etc.
I think experiencing these are very much okay.
But when it gets to a point where its all wishy washy , then you got problems.

I rely on feelings.
I can read the word, but if I'm not moved, then what good did it do?
I know you feel the same way.
If we don't have an emotional experience with God, then did we even experience God at all?
Stop and ask yourself that.

The answer is yes, you did experience God.
The spirit is obedience.

John 14:15
[ Jesus Promises the Holy Spirit ] "If you love me, you will obey what I command.

Maybe its just obeying what you know to do.
You know to grow in love, to build up faith, to be strengthend, you read the word, pray, and fast.
Many simple facts of the Lord that tend to be looked over.

John 10
Jesus calms to be The Good Shepherd.
Jesus is good.
He said He was, and so, He is.
There is no need for me to question this.

He said in verse 18
No one takes My life, but I chose to lay it down.

but I find this not moving me.

Part of growing, is going through times of absence.
Jesus never leaving us, but us being absent to Him.
I encourage you, to spill your heart, as I do to you and to Christ today.

Father God,
I pray you release me and those who are not moved by the goodness of You right now in the mighty name of Jesus Christ that our hard hearts will be broken and You work on us. Allow me and others to love you like you deserve. We pray and we believe(mark 11:24) God so right now sweep me and others with your love.

by the power of the Holy Spirit I pray, and in Jesus beautiful name . Amen. It is done.


Saturday, July 31, 2010


I havent had a girlfriend since the 11th grade!!!!!
I mean Ive been on dates but nothing worked out.
I was pondering this thought on my way home from Volleyball tonight!

I have been talking to alot of people about relationships and marriages and I realize the ever more importance to wait.
I look back on my past of dating around and realize how dumb it was, but at the same time very rewarding, only in the sense I know more of what I want then ever.
But I feel some people rush love..
I look at the peoples relationships who talk to me about their problems and they all say the same thing, I should have waited.
How insecure do you have to be to have someone right now?
I think its a empty feeling that you wont let God heal.
It was my problem for the longest time.
I have saved apart of myself to give away to a lady when really I should have given my whole self to God.
God is love and all good works out for those according to his purpose.
I write to those who read this blog.
Enjoy waiting.
Dont play around.
Be honest.

now that Im past that.
Ive been thinking about things I really like
and Here is a list.
I want my wife , or if I never have one, to have a friend who looks past my crooked teeth and love handles and enjoys me for these qualitys: These are things I like, and enjoy.

1. foam soap
2. Pauly shore
3. glasses( on other people)
4. facial hair
5. long hair
6. laughing
7. star gazing
8. elizabethtown
9.a good acoustic tune
10. writing
11. playing guitar
12. singing
13. windows down
14. cowboy boots
15. cereal
16.water, no soda
17. hugs
18. hand holding
19. braclets
20. strangers, but I love people so it shouldnt make the list, its who i am.
21. books.
22. coffee
23. skateboarding
24. dryer sheets
25. fresh smells
26. dogs!!!!
27. running
28. working out
29. playing outside..... alot
30. hiking
31. to just relax.

enough with the list.
I found I really enjoy chilling out.
Laying in my floor listening to music that makes you feel inspired.
I love breakfast.
I overthink and think to deep.
Jesus is my first love and best friend, I often treat Him like crap but I do desire to know Him more.
At the end of the day I pray about all my choices.
Favorite 2 verses
john 15:16
1 john 3:23
I also can love anyone, but not just anyone can love me.
I dont get moody, just think alot.
My mind is always moving.

I just felt like writing a blog.

odds of being alone-Trent Dabbs

Friday, July 30, 2010

Well crap..

So it wont let me make a new one.
so that means I have to keep this one

So I'll write on here, no big deal.

I think girls overlook the fact that guys can be insecure too.
I've been doing this not dating stuff and its been wonderful, I mean yes I want a girlfriend, but there are so many people that need my attention.
and my youth kids will prevail, everytime.

I will finish this later, I just feel like reading and not writing at the moment

Well crap..

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

youve read my mind for long enough now

I have 2 new ones
one you are welcome to read, the other you wont find.


Monday, July 12, 2010

Homeward bound.

2nd Corinthians 5 kind of scares me...

Paul is writing to the church of Corinth and is defending his ministry
in verse 4 he says " we who are in this tent groan"
Paul is talking about his body being a tent and his home is in heaven.

Paul is basically saying... " I cant wait to be there."
Now I know this is something I never wrote about but these are my thoughts, wonders, and ponders..

I'm not really excited about dying or going to heaven...
I don't wake up every day saying " Hey, I'm ready to die and be with Jesus."
Have you ever met those people?
or maybe heard those preachers say" Lets pray for Jesus to come back."

I look forward to waking up everyday to spend time with Jesus
I look forward to another chance to figure out love, life, and how I can grow deeper with Christ.
Lately I've been struggling alot with the voice of God, what I should do and where I should go..
And I'd like to know these things ya know?
I look forward to the future and honestly I'm not really ready for Christ to come back.
I would like to grow more without seeing Him..

Now, I know you think this is crazy
but I'm starting to realize the beauty of not seeing Christ and walking by faith
verse 7 walk by faith not by sight
I love the fact that Jesus is everywhere and I cant see Him
and its up to me to realize this..
thats the beauty of being alive
maybe one day I'll look forward to Homeward bound

I don't think its wrong to not desire to die and go to heaven
I'm praying about it.

Really quick on prayer
I don't pray that much..
I pray pretty much all day
but I never really have a serious convo
I think the more open we are with Christ and tell Him whats really going on
healing can really begin.

I just felt like writing

love you

Monday, July 5, 2010

so it has started...

Its not something I want to think about...
I don't even want it coming into my mind..
but its unavoidable...

John 21 Jesus looks Peter in his eyes and says " and someone else will tie you and carry you where you don't want to go."

Jesus tells Peter...... that he will die for the glory of Jesus.

My mind is filled with this as I finish the book the barbarian way.
I find myself finding the real point of life.
Jesus didnt save me to bring me to a life of comfort... of fluffy pillows and soft beds but one that requires me to carry a cross, to wherever I need to carry it too.

Its hard letting that sink in my head.
That it might not be my purpose to ever see marriage, a job, or the age of 40.
but its also hard to deal with the thought of being just another "christian"
who watchs the world cry its self to sleep because they didnt share the love of God with someone.

I'm currently going to Mississippi state for college and I dont like it not one bit.
People, I mean everyone up here talks about each other..
I recently even caught my best friend talking about me.
I cant stand it here...
It seems like no one is real... no one is searching..
but at the same time I'm so drawn to this place.
Its amazing the chances Jesus took on people.
He was so hated but He even found time to sit at a well and meet with the broken..
to ask of others that spit on Him..
He even found time to die for these people...
I to hope my life can be lived in a manner that these people can see the trueness of Christ.

I have dreams ya know
and the top of the list is to fall in love, but Im slowly starting to see that my happyness is not the point, the point is to win souls for God.
He is seeking people that would seek Him, and all it takes is someone saying yes to the call.

I've never been the cheesy Christian who said thinsg like " Im ready for the Lord to come back." cause Im not
I love life.
But I'm slowly starting to become someone that wishs we could all worship together.
Everyone needs Christ and learning this is so new.

done for tonight.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Love Story

I long for intimacy with a woman.
It seems like ever since I made the choice to not kiss till I get married, its enhanced and de-hanced.
I know that sounds crazy and don't make sense but allow me to explain.
I haven't been on a date in foreverrrrrrrr or even hung out with a girl with intentions of date and that feels great but I still have this longing for touch, to talk, and share.
But this is were the tables turn and I see a whole new side of God.
I've never told God that even though I'm a virgin, I long for the touch of my wife even though I don't even know if I'll see tomorrow...
I think about these things.
I just felt its best to just be open and tell God how you feel and allow the healing.

I've decided to be so open with God, and allowing Him to be my intimate wife as He romances me with scripture.
For any readers, which isn't many who may be opposed to my openness, I write these things because I feel God wants me to share it, that its a easy way to write how I feel and get it out, I keep what I need to be personal personal, and what needs to be shared needs to be shared.
So as I share..
I challenge( which I think is a dumb word) wait.. I want you to reshape and rethink
the love you want to find one day.
The what you look for, the what he or she looks like, and to see how much in compatible they are with Christ
in simpler terms
How much your person looks like Christ.
If Christ is our true love and our boyfriend and girlfriend don't model that then how can love ever be intimate? or whole?

I feel this raging drive to be closer to God.
I feel like the time I'm spending now isn't enough, there needs to be an hour of prayer behind a closed door of me crying out and enjoying it.

eff I just spilled coffee on my bed and my love handle ha
caution: wear a shirt when you drink coffee, it might burn your love handle, if you have some.

I think You God for my ups and downs with You, for letting me come back time and time again, for letting my mind think to deep and be doubtful, because I know you love what comes after that. Forgive me of the times I want to give up on you. I just stress myself out sometimes, I pray You always bring relief. Bring me peace. I love You. Meet me here and now. In Jesus name and by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Father lover, come be the inside of me God lets be in a passionate love that consumes each other in the most romantic way! God let me love and cherish you above all things be my treasure , I pray that you transform my heart and mind and as I feel your Holy Spirit take over I pray Your word becomes my food and that you be my daddy and flame, let me die for you daily and for ever. If you want me to change the world and you have great plans for me let me live them out. Take me over and baptize me with the Holy Spirit and set me on fire and love differently, I have no idea what else to say you have my heart God you re beautiful forgive me for forsaken you, this is my prayer God, I type it out and worship you right now in the mighty name of Jesus. I clam all of this in the mighty name of jesus christ and by the power of the holy spirit! amen

You won't relent until You have it all
My heart is Yours
You won't relent until You have it all
My heart is Yours

I'll set You as a seal upon my heart
As a seal upon my arm
For there is love that is as strong as death
Jealousy, demanding as the grave
Many waters cannot quench this love

You won't relent until You have it all
My heart is Yours
You won't relent until You have it all
My heart is Yours

I'll set You as a seal upon my heart
As a seal upon my arm
For there is love that is as strong as death
Jealousy, demanding as the grave
Many waters cannot quench this love

Waters cannot quench this love
You won't relent until You have it all
My heart is Yours
Waters cannot quench this love
You won't relent until You have it all
My heart is Yours

Come be the fire inside of me
Come be the flame upon my heart
Come be the fire inside of me
Until You and I are one

Friday, June 18, 2010

Where is love?

I've come to a point were...

I either dive into the realness and explore the richness of Christ or turn back...

but there is no going back

Saturday, June 12, 2010

No more sugar


A few weeks ago my friend/pastor spoke on lust in Matthew Chapter 5.
Jesus says in this chapter " that its better to cut off your hand then your whole body be thrown into hell."
Now, why would Jesus say such a profound thing?!?!

It goes much deeper than what you read.
Jesus is stressing a huge point to us.
That this is urgent and must be done.
That its so important.
Sex is so much more then physical touch.
It is a spiritual bond... it is giving your whole self to someone.
Sex is not just sex but rather letting someone know your soul.

I recently been thinking on my past and reflecting and thought I would share.
Because I know honestly this is a struggle for most people but it is a very hush hush topic.

So I'll start..

I am still a virgin
but if halves count then I am.

I first messed up sexually when I was 18.
My first year of college in January.
I remember it like it was yesterday ...
It was with someone I didn't really like.. and she really played with my mind.
It was my first time to ever be in such a hot situation.
True love waits was such a big passion of mine since I got the ring when I was 15!
I thought about the day I would look my true love, my beautiful wife in the eyes and tell her
" All I am is yours."
That I could honestly say she is the first to experience my body and the first that I shared my soul with.
Unfortunately that isn't the case anymore.
I felt so empty
so used and disgusted
I felt lost and that I lost something that I could never find or regain.

Have you ever gone through this?
Have you ever had sex and laid there feeling used and lost
that maybe you were forced ..
maybe you only done it because that someone said I love you
you felt hurt and ashamed?

I think Jesus knew we would..
that thats the reason he made such a harsh point.
John 15 talks about remaining is His love, remaining in His perfect will...
Maybe He wrote that chapter because He knew the world would leave us feeling so used and hurt and broken.
Maybe thats way he says 1 Thessalonians 4:3 says " For it is God's will that you be holy and avoid sexual immortality ."
I memorized this verse.
That its better to just avoid it
because when " it" happens" something is going change.
That we are going to share everything with someone and it shouldn't just be just a anybody.
because everyone reading this I'm sure can relate to feeling used and getting their hearts broken
Maybe thats way Jesus wants us to remain in Him.
That the world is going to hurt us.... but there is peace and fullness in His love.
There is grace that covers all of your shame.
God really heals those who come to Him and walk with Him.
Its part of the love package deal ha

Sex is such a .... special item I feel

When I do these things I feel like I'm dehumanizing myself.
I hate the fact that I've kissed numerous women and deep down I felt like it was just another thing to do, a check off a list, and that is so sad. But then there was the ones that.... nevermind... anyways
Women deserve to be treated sooo much better then a kiss and a see ya bye.
It seems sex has become a empty body movement driven by lust.. and honestly where is the beauty in that..
and for the record for everyone who found out about me messing up and talked about me at Northeast and didn't care to help me that are so called " christians" thanks. NOT!
You could have came and prayed for me instead of running your mouth :)
I love you and forgive you and you know who you are.

so after much prayer and thinking...
I have decided...

To not kiss until I get married.

And I know what your thinking.... Your Cameron Moore yeah right
You don't know Cameron Moore.
For my desire is to be pure again and to fall madly in love with Jesus and to madly fall in love with a woman one day who desires my all.
I recently have talked to alot of older married men and
some of them talked so demeaning of their wives.
No offense to you guys.
But I really think of love in such a movie way
and your negative comments arn't needed.
My love life can be however I make it.
I want the freakin fairytale stuff ya know?

My point isn't to write and say "you who are having sex blah blah blah..... "
but rather me saying I have a problem
I was someone who struggled with looking at naked women.

I'm tired of going on dates and pretending and forcing something to happen that may never.
It is sooooo pointless.
Now for you, Im not saying you shouldnt date or not kiss
I'm just saying its just not for me at the moment.
Because overtime it becomes just a ordinary thing.
And women are so beautiful and shouldn't be looked at like as if they are nothing but a sleep tool, but rather something of beauty.

Whoever my life partner is out there, I don't ever want to look on another woman and say what if....
I'm sick of divorce rate.

I want real love with real passion.
so I chose to wait and not kiss till I get married
Its going to be hard, trying at times but I'm really goin try this.
Cause the truth is I love women. Love em
epically black women ;)

I write this out of honesty of my heart and know that by posting this many are goin read my secrets.
But I write for the ones who are to scared to admit this.
If you have this problem and want help
message me
lets talk
I'll tell you how I've started to overcome.
or you want to ask me about anything ....ask away.

Allie Kriss thanks for sending me that verse.
You are freakin awesome!

Hey I love you

Monday, June 7, 2010

I was going to write a new one
I decided not to
Go read the bible or spend time with your parents or walk around outside

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Its me..

Well I was going to write this blog about How beautiful the weather is, how I have these ducks hat I feed that love fruit loops, How much I love God, and how thankful I am
I think I'll save these to myself.
One of those days where I dont need to share it with anyone, but rather enjoy it and know its good.

Monday, May 24, 2010

If I can be lonely here, I can be lonely anywhere

I was gifted with the incredible gift to love anyone
I am not prideful in this but I am so glad to have this ability
one thing I was not gifted with was being loved
I can not be loved
I feel not capable

I loved someone once..

I don't understand how to be loved

I once was told I can love a stranger but I cant love my family
I think about that everyday

If I can be lonely here, I can be lonely anywhere

Saturday, May 22, 2010

It comes in waves

It comes in waves...

I love playing music.
I've been playing guitar and singing since I was 12.
I love sitting down and playing some chords, humming a tune, playing for you
but sometimes it stresses me out so much.
I get so angry cause I wish I was a better singer.
I get and book these shows and go through a depression a few days before of knowing that I cant sing and people are going to talk about me.
I start worrying and then I cant write new songs

I realized how much that isn't why I started playing.
I play because I love it
I write because I love to
I sing because I love to.
and I think when you start stressing about the things you love the most you miss the meaning to do it.

I see this pattern in my walk with Christ ....
sometimes theres this stress, anger, and attitude like " What am I doing this for?"
and then it hits me...
because I love it.

When you start stressing and worrying and stop enjoying the things you love the most then your missing the point of your passion.

I would like to take this moment to ask you and for you to do this:
find the reason and passion for something you started and enjoy it again.
Find your enjoyment in your passions.

now go and enjoy
I have a show June 4th that I attend to have a blast at.

I did not proof read this and do not feel like making this a deep post.
Enjoy it for what it is

Saturday, May 15, 2010


So I've traded..

Trading over the course of history has been a sufficient way of survival...
chicken for veggies.... veggies for milk.....milk for for labor etc.
At a point trading was an important way of life.
Have you ever heard the saying "trick of the trade"
Sometimes in this exchange you would get tricked and end up with something you never wanted....

I have traded the truth of Christ Jesus for a trick..
Romans 1:21 " For though they knew God, they did not glorify Him as God or show Him gratitude. Instead, their thinking became nonsense, and their senseless minds were darkened."

I know, I know God..
He has been so close to me since I was 13 and probably before then.
He has been calling me and pursuing me even before that it seems like.
Lately God has been taking care of me...
I was so stressed about working, making money, finding a job, and in the same day I cried out to God " God listen to me, I need money and I need help, I give you my life and trust you." in the next hour I was cutting grass at a friends house.
Why is it that this big God cares so much to prove Himself to me and why can't I, as a small human believe His who He says He is?
The book of Romans is were I've been camping out..
Its all about saved through grace by faith, by faith this, by faith that
I'm lacking!!!
Faith, I need to just be it and be in it!
Its a easy free gift that I make to complicated.
I want to goodness of God and have peace in my heart.

Where has my thoughts gone....
It seems like I cant meditate on the word anymore
that my thoughts are blocked.
and as I sit here and pray and think about it, I realize that I can't further my knowledge in Christ because I don't enjoy it.
I have traded my natural desire for Christ in for this fake empty one.
I need to be renewed.

I cant pray in my head and I'm in barnes and noble so accept my prayer as I feel the need to type this out. Lord, make me new. I'm so tired of not trusting, not enjoying you. Daddy, I want to want you and to love you, and I know You desire me and You love me so whats the problem? Lord, God, Father, Lover of my soul, Romancer, King, hear my cry to you. Give me peace in this uneasy feeling and this aching heart that is just a stone. Revel what I need to change by the power of the holy spirit and let me enjoy You!!! Let me enjoy love, let me enjoy loving others. change me!!!!

I have no idea who You are..
so let this start our relationship
Its not about what I have to do but what You have done

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Dang Howie day, you have me writing a new sad song!

Nothing here will stay....
all gone one day, up in flames
but I'll endure the fire to be with you....

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Comb my hair part 2

It really does shape me to think in different ways..
to work out problems in certain ways
to figure out solutions before working them and predicting an outcome...

It, as in the Algebra, has some how triggered this blog.
It will be another one of the idea of relationships.

A variable-liable to or capable of change
Relationships are a variable
As I stop and talk to one of my friends in the mall she tells me how she and her boyfriend broke up because he changed.
What is so wrong with that?
Change can be good right?
Change is suppose to happen overtime.
but some change isnt so positive..
I don' know why you would want to date someone and then turn out for the worse
why would you want to change to make it worse?
No sense I tell ya
I havent ever really been in one, or at least one I care to really work on it.
I mean I cared, I just wasnt ready.
So here is my stand.
Relationship is a choice.
Deciding your ready and sticking to that.
Its saying Im ready and knowing you are.
I think thats why alot of people break up, they simple was not ready for that step in their life.
I guess this is why I choose to wait.
It really is something that shouldnt be taken lightly
why would you want to just date someone and it not last?
I dont think sharing special information with someone about your personal life and sharing your heart with them to only break up is a good idea.
Your heart is what keeps you beating
it is the special piece of you.
It is not where love comes from though
that comes from your spirit I believe
and if your spiritual not ready, then it is not a good idea to dive in.

I'm so guilty of this...
It really comes to a point where I have to be honest with myself
and I feel personally, after realizing this, will bring about my change for love.
I'm starting to finally get to a point where I feel like I can better share my heart.
I'm finally starting to be comfortable with who I am
insecurities are starting to go away
except for the teeth thing.. long story
but I'm starting to understand myself.
I really do love God and to better love him and people I have to pray it out loud and make the choice.
Cause if not I get real insecure and forget that Cameron Moore is all about loving God and loving people.
No more talk of not getting marreid, no more lies of leading on folks, no more misunderstandings.
I know what I do and do not want and in these past weeks knowing that and putting that into action feels great.

I am starting to grow up..
actions, words, attitudes
its all coming together
it feels great.
I have to keep these things in to practice.
Because I know this wonderful girl
and to be ready for her is what I want.
I want her to be moved by my love for Christ and people
to love small little things abut me
that putting my pop tart on for 22 seconds is cute to her
and me wearing my shirt unbuttoned all the way to the middle button to try and show off my lack of chest hair is attractive.
That holding my hand is security
and that my love handles are sweet
I also want to love the little things and I want to when asked
" What makes you so attracted to your gal?"
I can say well.... she likes to wink at folks and loves to walk the mall and look at the families.
Weird I am I know
but that is what I find attractive and romantic.
The small things folks

Take your time
love slow
love right
make the choice
change for the good

I am a hopeless romantic
and a goof
dang it.

back to math.
good bye my sweeties.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Comb my hair

The last week..... of the last 2 years or my life of community college.
How do you say goodbye to the friends you've made and the memories that make you?
2 years of community college changed my life.
I realized the point of life really is to love.
So I will start here

You want love
I want love
to give it
receive it
experience it in full....
everyone searches for love.
I've met so many people and this is the only thing I found in common with all of them..

Why is it that as a people group we long for the touch, affection, and whisper of love?
Why is it that we all try to find that "something" to fill this love void?
I'll answer this later...

When I was a senior in High School I liked this girl from Heritage Academy, for the sake of the post and her privacy I'll call her Sue.
yeah.... Sue fits..
I met Sue in the a.c.t before my senior year started.
She had beautiful blue eyes, dark hair, freckles, and the cutest nose!
She really loved and cared for people, like a mom instinct on roids!
Her heart would break for those that were hurting around her.
She was pretty and I wanted to know her..... so I laid the mack down. :)
Of course she fell for me, I was a natural charmer and well, I had skills.
I really fell for this young lady.
And since this is my blog I can say what I want without caring if anyone who reads this and get mad.
She was wonderful. We dated on and off and finally dated last January were I ended it after 2 weeks.
I didnt understand...
She was perfect!!!!!! Really..
But my heart was burdened.
And my God hole in my heart would not let this star shape Sue fit in, even though I loved her as Christ would, she just could not fill what I needed to be whole.
After that my life got crazy
I started to really seek Christ, and He let me find Him..
I was booked for the next 2 months pouring out love to churchs and people groups that I was traveling to speak at...
I was pouring out this faded misunderstood love.
I couldn't understand love and why it wouldnt let me be with someone
Along the way I've met other girls, honestly no one that I really clicked with.
All my fault though cause I was empty and Christ was not getting my full attention.
I forgot that God was love, that He is jealous, and I shouldnt leave Him dry for my love.
Because thats not love, the 5 minute "hey God how are you" or the " forgive me, I effed up big time."
No thats not it.
I continued to date ....
which was a terrible idea...
I later met a wonderful gal from I.C.C named.... Martha, yeah, Martha.
She could sing!!!!!!!! and play guitar!!!
but her square shape couldnt fill my God sized hole.

later after her came one that was pretty amazing, sandy.
She was a triangle.

I went on, over looking the fact that God's love is simple, but can easly be made complex.
But why make love so complex?
Its not math
you dont need tools, or instructions, or love for dummy books.
Love is simple
here it is..
Love.... is love.

For century's man has tried to prove God wrong but its not happening
because love lives
though I might not ever understand the love Jesus had for me, I know its love.
I know love is patient kind and etc.
But it also love
ya know?
I think you will feel it when you do..
You just know love.

I know Christ and I can for sure know I'm in love with Him.
After the hardships, arguments, and breaking up comes a beautiful sunset
which God knows I love, and sometimes I pray on my face and dance in my room to worship, because I know He loves that.

This is love my friends.
No need for me to go deeper.
Love is real because God is real
and God is real because love is.
No other religions mention love more, google that mess, I did.
Christ is the only " figure" that actually spent time with the sick and unrighteous, He waned to know us, so He experienced what we do.

You dont have to understand love to have love, but you do have to realize some where along your path of life, some shapes dont fit with other shapes, and forcing them only causes damage.

Im going to call it on this one, dont want to over write.
Today I enjoyed the love of Christ.
Simply by throwing the fresbee with my good friend Samuel Bragg, who doesnt get a fake name.
We sat down with the word and he confirmed my salvation.
Acts 16;31 believe on the lord Jesus and you will be saved.

Thats all I had to do.

My hole is not fitted with the goodness of life
though I still look for a woman, I now know what I want , and I know God knows the desires of my heart and what I need
a natural loving Christ woman
who is very smart
shy, but not to much
musical minded
and a romantic.
and is happy to love my indecisive mind , crooked teeth, nappy hair, and finds real love in how much I love my God and my people.

have a great day.
Nothing fits me better then a God shape, and my other piece is out there.

Everyone wants love, so
get it.
Christ said its a free gift

I need to comb my hair;/

Friday, April 23, 2010


At this point I don't think anyone can relate to me.....

I think the worst feeling is being so bitter and discounted.
And the honesty of it could be from me not really connecting with Christ this past week, He is the love of my life and I think anyone with any love in there life after a week of no communication would feel dry and irritated.

I have to play a show tonight and I could care less to play it
but at the same time this could be a good way to get out whats on the inside
I dont care if I mess up or not do good
Music probably wont be my profession, I enjoy speaking and connecting with folks
thats the whole point of me playing music.
So why am I so stressed.
I have been so ugly these past few weeks
my heart is hard
no tears .... or nothing
my heart is a freakin stone.
and it sucks.

Its raining outside and its gray and cloudy..
I really think that weather has an effect on mood
cause right now I feel like nothing matters
My walk with Christ, my music, my love for people
how did I get to this place?
I dont want to stay here.
It is the worst way you can feel

My feelings have been full of lies.
I have just been throwing useless words here lately
I dont think honestly anyone will ever really love me
I probably wont get married.
Im complicated, and as far as I can see down my road, I wont be changing.
Oh, how I want to change

" Love is an ocean wide."
I guess Im stuck on the shore

Thursday, April 8, 2010

I failed to give you everything in me.

One time I met a girl that I really liked.
In everyway she adds up perfectly.
She loved me for everything I was and am.
She had a beautiful heart and soul, I've never met such a person with a servants heart.
But as usual I throw that to the wind.

I'm going to take time.
This is a time for me to really learn Cameron, but more importantly learn Jesus.
I need time to mature.
I need to time to learn to commit to someone whos not a stranger.

I have this remarkable ability to love someone Ive never met....
but for anyone who gets close to me....... I push away

I talk about love alot
I know what love is
I just don't understand faith.
I think once I believe and do away with doubt then I will know..
I'm ready to know.
No doubts, no questions, just honest real know.

This week one of my really good friends passed away
he was the most beautiful man
He showed the love of Christ so deeply.
He had a even heart.
Solid through and through.

I read in mark 3 today for a household to not be divided
for a man with a divided heart is unstable in all of his ways.
Im tired of being like this.
I'm tired of not knowing things in my heart.
My mind needs to stick with something.
and I honestly feel like when I meet the one
I'll just know
at least thats what I hope for.
I can have love like the movies.
I just have to find the girl to have those movie moments with.
I think I'll get to a point where I know I can date.
But until then Im going to live out this life ahead of me.
I'm going to fall into the arms of grace and discover Christ.

No more divided heart.
But from now on

I'm on a journey to find Cameron
and I have a great feeling about this
I've already made a big sacrifice
from here its me staying steady

Once again,
Ive failed to give you everything in me
but this time
I have a different heart and attitude.

Im due for a really good blog entry
But for now, my thoughts
and whatever I feel

goodnight people
I love you

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Ready to say goodbye..

I'm ready to say goodbye to Northeast Mississippi.
This is a very disturbing thought to me.
But its the darn truth.
Its been super great, best 2 years of my life.
But there is only so much connecting you can do.
I understand that people will forever talk about me and that will travel wherever I go
I'm not ok with it but I am

I am just over school
it sucks to say but most people
I have made some amazing friendships and I've also lost some amazing friends
But I'm so ready to move off.
I think I might move home, even though its a desert and no one loves Jesus there
I want to be there
I want to have a man job for some reason

Ok, Im done.
I need to do math and I dont feel like rambling anymore.
Thanks blog.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

No Settling

I've been thinking about love and what I would like in the opposite sex.
I realized I can be as picky as I want and my love life can look like any movie I chose!

I want someone who will dance with me at any point I feel.
There are some moments that you can express with anything else except my hands on the lower part of her back and her arms around my neck.
And it's in this moment I feel comfortable enough to whisper any secret I want to in her ear.

I want someones hand who is just perfect in mine
Like I mean in the cheesy way I can.
Like, her fingers interlock right into mine and she smiles because she feels what I feel.

I want everywhere we go for someone to complement our relationship.
Cause they can't help but realize how beautiful we fit together.

Someone who brings comfort to the relationship and brings a simple God faith to my very complex one.

I dont think I'm going to finish this..
For I know it in my heart
and if I share it, it might not come true.
I think I've met this person already...
who knows..

Friday, April 2, 2010

My best friend called

There is something so beautiful about coffee and the bible.
Like almost they were made to go hand and hand, or page and cup.

As I sit on the back porch of my Alabama home, weather 60 and rising
fresh dew on the ground
sun shining on my feet and thats the only part cause I'm in the shade with the rest of my body
The birds singing, fish jumping out on our lake, and the wind whistling the tree tops
I write in my book.
53 weeks of rediscovering Jesus.....

I read Ecc 12.
It says " Remember also your Creator in the days of your youth, before the evil days come and the years draw near of which you will say, I have no pleasure in them"

It is amazing how this old document is speaking to my mornings
On today I remember my Creator
He is the only Scientist that makes sense.

Today I'm hitting the open road.
It's going to be an amazing journey.

have a good day everyone and remember.

My best friend called me this morning
Made my whole day.

Find pleasure in the little things people
they are the things that fuel your soul.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Sow your dreams.

I think dreams die when we stop having the heart to believe in them and we start accepting okay satisfaction.

It starts with saying " Okay, its no big deal, I'll just do this.."
Its starts and doesn't stop.

I have this friend who wants to be an artist.
She paints with desire, passion, and love. Even zeal, in the pursuit of happiness.
The brush strokes of her brush and the movement of her coal pencil is a way to express her worship to the God she's in love with.

No one,not her mother, friends, school,or anything it seems, helps her move in the positive direction of becoming this fine artist.
The kind of fine artist that moves hearts like your and mine.
The kind that brings color to this black and white world.
She is the blue, green, red, and yellow or our time, if this passion and dream stops, then we are back to black and white.
I along with many other fine people have decided to stand up straight beside this wonderful young lady Picasso and fuel her fire of art. This is what it takes.
A blank canvas, inspiration, and people who ...believe.

I will never ever settle for this black and white colored life.
I have a dream and a passion.
Here what they are....
1. To love everyone I can while there is breath in these lungs.
2. With this air in my lungs, I want to speak of life and goodness. 2 things that go hand and hand.
3. To travel and see what Millport Alabama could never show me.
4. Write songs that don't stress me out and relieves others of their stress.
5. To be married and adopt a child, and make family to him or her, the most beautiful thing that will stick with them for life.
6. Finally, discover more of God and live a life completely pleasing to Him, because I am fulfilled and joyful knowing that through Him things are made possible.

I tend to live out these dreams and desires by surrounding myself with people that have a vision... small or big... They are the ones that can relate to the way my heart feels.
I plan on reading books that move me in such a way that I write a book.

I plan on listening to music that sways my hips for me and fills me with a spirit of goodness.

I plan on listening.
I mean really listening to what people have to say.
Like the times there eyes are glossy looking and you know that them speaking this will change life.

I plan on setting goals, small to big, and accomplishing them.

I have been really re-cindering life.
Why am I in school?
College has been so amazing to me, but only because the people are amazing.
Being away from home and discovering thoughts of others has been amazing but, I mean academic wise.
What is the point of going to school, spending tons of cash, only for me to fail classes and to not learn.
I learn when I'm on my time and when I have the desire to learn something, I do.
I go to barnes and noble and read it.
But I do desire to be better at school.
I do want to do better.
So I'm reading a book on reading comprehension, I feel that would help.
I think sometimes desiring, having a passion, and dreaming comes from something you don't want to do, but in the end by doing it, your knowledge, desire, and passion of dreaming is expanded.
Thats why its necessary for us to go through change and seasons of growth( the good and the bad)
I recently went to North Carolina and realized that there are so many beautiful places that my feet have never touched, and there are bodies of people I have yet to embrace in my arms and share life with them , and they share life with me.
I recently realized that dating is not for me .... right now.
I want to do many things, and learning about who Cameron Moore is, is a solo job, so I can better myself for someone that will love me. Weather their is a woman to do that or not, I don't know, but before I date just any ole gal, I need to know Cameron is taken care of, so I can better take care of the ole gal.
I want to spend time with God and name the animals.
For every girls heart I broke, I'm sorry, but know I am acknowledgeable of this, and I promise you deserve someone better, so smile and move on, and get over it. You are young, I'm not our lifemate. Figure out who you are and enjoy being by yourself so you can later enjoy being yourself around someone.
It all comes full circle.
I'm doing the same.

I can do what I put my mind to, but I can live out what I put my heart out into.
Things are possible for me.
And they are for you.
I walk in the light of God who promises guidance on my stumbling feet, this is for you and I.

So, I want to encourage you to dream!!
To desire something and go for it.
Something of worth.
Something that you can look back on and feel fulfilled, not satisfied, but fulfilled!
I want you to pursue your hearts desires.
To not surrounded yourself with negative people and their crap vibe.
To be around people who want to see you grow in the things you love. Not drugs or sex or anything of that degrading when taken out of content.

Life is a hand stretch away, reach out and grab it.
Don't be afraid
Don't worry

Trust, live, see, and be.

I love you and hope with all my heart that these words are not of Cameron Moore, but of something greater and it truly touch's your heart and mind to just simple...

Move and start your accomplishment.

I plant my dreams
and I attend to sow them.

Monday, March 15, 2010

In my place..

Love will come.
I long to be in love with a girl that balances me out.

Please, please, please come back and sing to me.

Thank you Coldplay.


Saturday, March 13, 2010

In my fathers footsteps.

There is something beautiful and resting, or connecting about being back at home.

Now, this is a weird statement coming from me, seeing how I've never really felt at home anywhere.

Millport, Alabama is this redneck hick town that no one would expect me to come from... and I kind of love it.

Today my father and I went to Sprulls auto shop and had my truck worked on.
My dad is a very wonderful man, very stand up guy.
Known by many people and is pretty sociable.
Hard worker and is an amazing Bs'er.
Now, BS means bull crap, no need for cuss words cause I do have an education.
When we get to this auto shop, I meet 2 other men.
Danny and Ricky.
Both uber redneck but great guys.
My father and Danny are friends so the first thing they do is shoot the BS
Now, my day is a pro bull shooter, one second its " Hey, how are you?"
then its " I dont think these turkeys know weather to mate or go back into hibernation."
He makes this great small talk with this man.
and they find common ground.

I myself like my father am the same way.
I find this random bull to shoot and go for it.
Because I want to find common ground with men.
Now, weather you want to admit this or not.....
All men want to fall in love.
All men long for the touch of a woman ( or man, but thats another blog)
All men want to rule and have authority.

I started talking to Danny about his marriage which lead me to tell him about the love of my life.
He has 5 kids and one on the way.
He told me how hard it is sometimes and like a man, I want to find common ground to keep this bull shooting going..
Now, I'm not married but I can relate...
I have a room mate and I serve a God that desires to know me..
That I know if I want this relationship to work, it takes work.
It takes one bending to the other, and as a man, I'm prideful and hate the idea of bending my shoulder to any why-hoo.
But I was able to lay this pride down and let God bend my heart and be able to accept love from Him.
I go on to tell him how Jesus desires us and we don't so much with Him.
In John 15:16 he says " For I chose you, even when you didnt choose Me."
That He really wants to know us
in the verse john 15:7 " Abide in Me and I'll abide in you."
So he wants us to draw close to Him, yet we don't want to bend our shoulders or our hearts cause with this God there is no common ground........

Now that is very untrue...

He made us and He knows us.

He even says we are His first fruits.
We are His best and favorite creation
He wants to walk, speak, love, and give us life, more then just breath in our nostrils.
He wants to give us purpose, plan, and allow us to walk in light so we wont stumble in the dark.
He came into the world, not to condemn but to bring light, but people would rather trip in the darkness then to walk with eyes open and ready to see-John
Our common ground with God is authority.

He says " I am the way the truth and the life."
He clams "I am Light"
"I am bread"
and we disagree and decide not to bend our shoulders, so we shoot bull with God, but God isnt so good at it, He knows our hearts, He says "worship Me in honesty and truth"
And after all there is only so much Bull to be shot.

Our common ground with God is also love.
God is love
and in Him we have a lighted path and love that a naked woman( or man) could satisfy.
His love is a living water that never makes us thirst again-John 4
His love satisfies
the other kind is temporary and leaves us going back trying to find more.
God's love is one to stick with.

Today I walked in the steps of both my fathers..
and it was fulfilling.

I long to have the knowledge of how to work on trucks and other manly things so I can always have common ground with other men.
Jesus Christ was man, and that is the most important common ground.
He understands.

Now weather you believe or not, I dont know.
But I do care and I do respect you.
This is my blog and it will consist or things like this.
I love you and I hope you enjoy my thoughts and read them with open minds and hearts, as simpley just an encouragement, not me forcing beliefs.
From my heart to yours.
This is who I am and what I'm about.
Have an amazing day!


Points: Common ground
God is authority
God is love
and then there is Jesus.
We all want common ground, and thats how we relate.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Jesus and Nicodemus

So this is my first blog
I'm not really worried about first impressions
judgmental thoughts
or rude comments.
This is where I will go to share my thoughts and express my heart.
This is where..... I'll write in words..... my heart.

There is this book I read called the Bible.
It is like no other book.
In this book there is this man.
He came into the world as a light not to condemn but to bring life.
But people would rather walk, I would rather walk, in the darkness and stumble, then to walk smoothly with the hand of life interlaced in mine.

In John 3 Jesus meets with Nicodemus
in John 3 Jesus meets with me....

Nicodemus is this wise Pharisee teacher
full of knowledge and knowing
but lacking belief

The more I read the more I realized I relate to this Nicodemus dude
Jesus asks him " Are you a teacher of Israel and don't know these things?"
That He has proven Himself through many events who He is.
And still there is no belief

Jesus has showed Himself to me in many ways
making Himself known to me
very evident
and yet I fail to believe.
My heart is un-responsive.

The one who believes in the Son has eternal life-36
Im sick of only having eternal life on certain days
Im ready to believe everyday.
Jesus is love of my life
I want to want Jesus

I'm tired or being stone hearted
it is my biggest secret sometimes.
I'm tired of people not caring to know Christ through attitudes
like these
like mine

I dont feel like furthering these thoughts.

Welcome to my page.
Its only going to hold truth and honesty.

Love yall